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I watched “Tidying Up” so you don’t have to – Tidying Up with Marie Kondo (2019)

Let me be frank. This show is absolute garbage. I don’t mean bad, and I don’t mean sub-par. I mean flying, flaming garbage. This show is such a terrible combination of Netflix doc and reality TV. It’s painful. The style is painful. The content is much worse.

So, let me summarize the premise of the show real quick. This lady comes into peoples houses and cleans up their house. She apparently has written a book about cleaning, and she has this method she is going to use. That’s it.

The show is bad in a “what the heck am I watching” kind of way. Like, for example, in the beginning, the main lady tells the family that she is going to pray to the house and thank it for protecting them. Pray to the fricking house! I started laughing out loud. What is happening!! And these people are playing along with this crazy, constantly smiling lady in their house. The dad then goes on this little spiel about how he FEELS BAD for not praying to the house before! And then the mom starts CRYING!! What is going on? This is the most popular show on Netflix?

Then they show some totally not staged clips of the husband and wife fighting in front of their kids. They put it in black and white because that makes it super scary. Wow, I really buy this now that they put it in black and white! They must not know the camera is there. Or something. I’m sure they would totally fight when there’s a camera crew in their house.

The best quote in this part is when the husband says to the wife “How many pillows are there on this bed??!? SEVEN?! SEVEN PILLOWS!?”. Pure gold. I mean, give that cameraman a raise for capturing that intense moment.

Next, they go into the bedroom, and the cleaning lady tells them that they are going to pull out all their clothes, and one by one squeeze each item. You only get to keep the item if it sparks joy in you. And in case you were wondering what the heck that means, they fade to the main lady explaining it. And after a minute of explanation, you still can’t figure out what language she is speaking, much less what it means to feel a spark of joy. I guess we’ll never know.

So, the wife and the husband separate going through all their clothes, squeezing each one to see if it gives them a freaking spark of joy. And what if it doesn’t? Then you thank the clothing item!! Yes, you audibly say “thank you” to your clothes. “I like that idea,” says the wife. Well, I don’t, Rachel!! I don’t!

And can I just back up here and emphasize what a joke it is that this is the ‘untidy’ house that they choose. I mean it looks like this could be the after picture. Give me a break.

Now she’s going to teach us how to fold your clothes. “First,” she says, “It’s important to convey your love for your shirt from the palms of your hands.” And… click. I turned off the TV.

I don’t know if this show gets better, and I actually don’t care. The first 20 minutes were pure agony. And I watched them, so you don’t have to.

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